What would the baby jesus do to offset his carbon footprint?

Margaret

My child,

Let me first answer your question with things I wouldn’t do. I would not drive a Hummer. Ever. Just because you put a metal Me Fish on the back doesn’t make it okay, either. I would also not drive a pickup truck with an airbrushed tailgate featuring dream catchers, eagles, deer or wolves. Those CFCs are murder for the ozone layer! I would also not operate a megachurch with a scrolling marquee sign out front. (I would, however, keep the church’s giant plasma screen SpiritTron3000® sign to watch football on.)

Truth be told, there’s a pretty good model for reducing your carbon footprint in my Biographies. My buddies and I rolled around on foot, lived simply and didn’t buy things we didn’t have to. We were able to pool our skills to do everything we needed: fishermen, a treasurer and Myself on carpentry.

I’d also like to point you towards the poem “Footprints in the Sand:”

The Lord replied, “My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of suffering, when you could see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

I say to thee now, follow my example and pick up your fellow man; carry him where he needs to go. If we all pick up someone and carry them, we’ll cut the number of carbon footprints completely in half.